First, a word about anxiety
Anxiety is a normal human response. A racing heart, tight chest, churning stomach or spiralling thoughts are your body's alarm system switching on. It's uncomfortable, sometimes frightening, but the feelings do rise, peak and settle again.
The ideas below aren't about forcing anxiety away. They're about giving your nervous system something steady to hold onto. Try a few when you're feeling calm first, so they're familiar when you need them. Notice which ones suit you; not every technique works for everyone.
01 Make your out-breath longer
When we're anxious we tend to breathe quickly and high in the chest. Slowing the out-breath is one of the quickest ways to tell your body it can stand down.
- Breathe in gently through your nose for a count of four.
- Breathe out slowly through your mouth for a count of six, as if blowing through a straw.
- Repeat for a minute or two. If the counts feel too long, shorten them; just keep the out-breath longer than the in-breath.
02 Come back to your senses: 5‑4‑3‑2‑1
Anxious thoughts pull us into the future. Your senses bring you back to right now. Slowly, notice and name:
- 5 things you can see
- 4 things you can feel (your clothes, the chair, the air on your skin)
- 3 things you can hear
- 2 things you can smell
- 1 thing you can taste, or one kind thing you could say to yourself
03 Feel what's holding you up
Press your feet gently into the floor and notice the ground beneath you. If you're sitting, feel the weight of your body in the chair and your back against its support. Let your shoulders drop a little. You might say quietly to yourself: "Right now, in this moment, I am held."
04 Name it to tame it
Putting a feeling into words can soften its grip. Instead of "I'm going to fall apart", try noticing it as an experience that's passing through: "I'm noticing anxiety. My heart is racing. This is uncomfortable, and it will pass." You're not ignoring it; you're simply stepping back far enough to see it.
05 Move gently
Anxiety fills the body with energy meant for action, and gentle movement helps it go somewhere. A short walk, stretching your arms overhead, rolling your shoulders, or shaking out your hands can all help. If you can get outside, even better: notice the sky, the trees, the air.
06 Give your worries a place to go
If the same worries keep circling, write them down. Getting them onto paper can make them feel more manageable. Some people find it helpful to set aside a short "worry time" each day, around 15 minutes, to look at the list. When a worry pops up at other times, you can gently remind yourself: "I'll come back to that later."
Be kind to yourself. If a technique doesn't work straight away, that isn't failure. These are skills, and like any skill they get easier with practice. Small, patient steps matter.
When it might be time for more support
Everyone feels anxious sometimes. It may be worth talking to someone if:
- Anxiety is affecting your sleep, work, relationships or enjoyment of life
- You're avoiding places, people or situations because of how you might feel
- You're experiencing panic attacks, or living in fear of the next one
- You're relying on alcohol or other things to cope
- It has been going on for weeks and isn't easing
Counselling can help you understand what's underneath your anxiety, notice your patterns, and build ways of coping that fit your life. It's also worth speaking to your GP, who can talk through other options and check for any physical causes.
If you're struggling right now, please reach out. In Northern Ireland you can call Lifeline free, 24 hours a day, on 0808 808 8000, or Samaritans on 116 123. If you have chest pain or symptoms you're unsure about, seek medical help, and in an emergency call 999.